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Claustrophobia
Crystal Column 1 The tight confines of this hollowed-out column are unfriendly to those who suffer from claustrophobia - and still provide no small amount of discomfort to those without a phobia of cramped spaces. A pale blue light glows from the base of the column. ----------------------------------------------------------------- The relatively transparent crystal of the coffin becomes pitch black, like obsidian. Something goes CLICK-CLUNK! And the air within the container seems to grow stale and warm. Aadzrian closes his eyes, his breath hitching at the noise. Sweat beads on his brow, all the fear the Timonae could not show earlier furrowing his brow and darkening his expression. "A test," he reminds himself quietly. "A test. Don't fail, you dumbass." "Of course you're going to fail, you dumbass," responds a voice in the darkness. It sounds like Aadzrian's. "Not this time," Aadzrian insists fiercely, hands clenching into fists at his sides. "Too many people are -depending- on me. I won't fail, 'cause I *can't*." "It won't matter," the voice replies. "Your intentions are good, but it won't be enough. Morden'kamir knows it, but why would he admit it? He needs you to cling to that last thread of hope. All of you. But it's a lie. You're going to get yourself killed for a lie, to make a *Kamir* feel better." "Everything -you're- saying is a lie," Aadzrian protests roughly. "You want us to fail, so only the best become Kamir. Well, I don't believe a word of it. Maybe I will die. That's fine, 'cause if I do, it's going to mean something. I'm sure not going to die -here-." Still, his brow's copiously marked with sweat and his breathing uneven. "What? You think *I'm* a Kamir?" A sardonic laugh. The walls seem to be growing a bit closer around Aadzrian, with a low crunching sound. "Not even on a bet I thought I could *win*." Aadzrian closes his eyes, just focusing on breathing for a long moment. "...Then what are you?" he challenges once his voice is steady, the question as curious as it is accusative. "I'm *you*," the voice answers. "I'm your reality check. I'm the part of you that *knows* this is a futile effort and a waste of resources. Only four thousand Kamiroids showed up for this party! *Four thousand*! Doesn't that tell you something about the millions who stayed away? THEY. ARE. SMARTER." "Well, being smart was never my strong point!" Aadzrian shouts right back. "Defying the odds is. Daring, and risking all, and coming out on -top- because I don't hold anything back, and what's why I'm here. The others don't understand! They didn't hear Morden, they don't believe, they don't know what's at stake. The difference is ignorance, nothing more." "Ignorance? Hezekiah and Volidana aren't ignorant to the risks, yet they selfishly chose the intelligent route," the voice in the dark responds. "Do you see *them* in one of these death traps?" The coffin now seems to be hugging Aadzrian's body like a crystalline cocoon. "This isn't-" Aadzrian's voice breaks, but he manages to swallow it back and continue, tone harsh. "This isn't a death trap. This is the only way. I've been in worse situations. I have. And I always survive. It's what I do. They have a -child-, their child needs them. Not everyone's cut out for this!" "They have a *child*? That's an *excuse*? What are they going to tell that child when the time comes to explain why they didn't do anything? Are they going to remember you fondly, with honor?" The voice chuckles mordantly. "Or will they talk about what a rube you were, buying a little time so they could get away." Something in those words causes Aadzrian to relax, actually, and though he still seems haggard with tension, a smile actually touches his lips. "So that's the worst case scenario, is it? That I'm doing nothing but buying a little time? That's okay. I don't mind being a fool for that. As long as they do get away. Them, and their son, and my family, and my *own* son, and all of those people... Their lives are worth much more than mine." "Why?" the voice demands, becoming strained and a little panicked. "How come they get to live and you're stuck here in this place? Don't you deserve it as much as they do?" "Of course not," Aadzrian chuckles, tone calmer- seemingly on more comfortable ground. "That's why I'm here, and they're not. It's justice. It's fair. And I don't mind at all." "Well, that's just stupid," the voice replies petulantly, but the coffin walls appear to be drawing back to their usual position and they gain more of their translucency. The process isn't done yet, but it appears to have paused for now. Category: Classic OtherSpace Logs Category: The Ascendancy